Fatherly, er Homerly Advice

Homer: Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.

Homer: How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees? And build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? [His chair breaks beneath him]
D’oh!…Stupid poetic justice.
Bart: Actually, we were just planning the father-son river rafting trip.
Homer: Heh heh!…you don’t have a son.

The Simpsons
“Boy Scoutz ‘n the Hood”
Season 5 Episode 8

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